How are you?
Hi everyone, it’s been a while right? January is over, and the shine of 2017 seems to have worn off a little.
Every year, I spend the first few weeks of January decluttering and planning for the new year. I make lists, set out goals and visualise all the wonderful things that the coming year has in store for me. For 2017, I made it two days before it became utterly overwhelming, I needed to stop and just, process.
The end of 2016 sucked. There are people who were like family that aren’t in my life anymore and although I have made peace with that, I find myself angry at myself for feeling anything about it. It’s hard to plan and visualise good things, when you numb yourself to feeling anything just to make things less painful. My strategy to any crisis is to organise first, cry later but I’d somehow morphed that into punishing myself for having any sort of emotional reaction, positive or negative. Felt sad, “stop being weak, it’s been months“, felt .. happy? “disloyal! didn’t that time mean anything to you?“. Why was I punishing myself so much? BLAH.
The important thing is that I now see the problem, I’m taking it one day at a time. Mentally, I know I don’t have to be all okay all at once, but practicing it is a lot harder. I spent a lot of time investing in and loving these people, they will leave a hole in my life for a while and that’s.. okay? To move on, like really move on, I need to stop being so hard on myself.
That being said, overall 2016 was a great year for me, I went back to Seoul (#SEOUL2K16), spent time with amazing people, started an awesome new job (made new friends!), gained all sorts of confidence in myself, lost almost 10kgs, started eating better and I really did ‘DO MORE‘ like I promised myself I would do. Now on to better things!
What’s in store for 2017? This year, I want to Seek Adventure.